To The Non Trad Mother

Oh goodness, it has been almost three weeks since my last post. I anticipated this would happen with the onset of the new semester. Sadly, my blogging time has been eaten up by another online time consumer- my classes. Native American Lit, and Maine in the Revolutionary War. Two classes that I wouldnt have chosen had I been free to enroll in whatever sparked my fancy (and fulfilled requirments, of course.) Alas, my options were seriously limited due to the fact that I wasnt ready to schlep back up to the University quite yet, as I'd need to find a place, or person for my littlest one. So, although I've lost the time in the evenings where I could sit and ponder life as a young mom trying to pursue her educational and occupational dreams, and muse about it on my own personal platform, now I'm spending most of that time (should be doing it as now,) actually doing the aforementioned. Thanks to the advent of online classes, I'm creeeeping a little closer to that elusive degree.

Here's to all the non trad moms out there, I know a couple of you that read this blog from time to time. I hope you can still find time to do so now that the semester has commenced once again. I want to tell you a few things that I want to hear myself. First, whether you're working on your first degree, or doing graduate work, or changing careers, or learning a new trade- YOU ARE WORTH IT. You're worth the money it costs, worth the time you're spending- yes, away from your kids. Going to school after having children, even if they're in school, or out of the house altogether, can never be quite the same as your first post secondary go-round was becuase back then, there was only number one to consider. Finding time to take classes and do the homework as a mom is one hundred times harder, and comes complete with guilt, which leads me to my next point:

Has someone, your mom, the elderly lady in the grocery store perhaps, told you, "they're only little once, just enjoy it," or something to that effect. We know this, don't we? Our children are gifts from God, precious, amazing, fun, hilarious, little miracles that we know inside and out, would dive in front of a UPS truck for. We can feel how they slip a bit futher away from us each day they get older. Are we then, supposed to do nothing but care for them, stare at them, follow them around relentlessly soaking up their littleness? No, it makes no sense to forsake our identities as people, women becuase we love our kids. Many of us stay home with them and devote the majority of our waking moments to them, and sacrifice many of what would otherwise have been non waking moments for their care. We all know that maternal sanity is a good thing for children. I'd like to go a little further and suggest that all moms have something of their "own" going at all times even during pregnancy and their children's babyhood. Maybe that means a beloved career. Maybe it's yoga. For some of us, it's going back to school. It's not self centered, and it CAN'T wait until "the kids are in school." Even if it's one stinkin' class at a stinkin' time. It's our own, and it's important. Our babies will learn that they are worth striving for their goals by our examples.

Finally, fellow non trad Mommas, cut yourself a break on the A complex. Going to school on one's own terms is such a different experience than being forced into it. We're making huge sacrifices, right? We want engaging classes, caring and dedicated professors. This crap's not cheap! It IS okay, however, to maintain less than a 4.0 from time to time. It's a one of those priority juggling games, just like a day at home with the kids. If the housework slips a little, bah, your dust will keep. If you fudge a few assignments in order to keep up with the workload, and momload, don't feel discouraged. Keep the big picture in mind. If your baby wakes and cries while you're doing homework, go to her if you can, and if you must send your husband, don't beat yourself up.

 Week by week, class by class, year by year. Don't give up. Be gentle with yourself. Your educational goals are no less important than the perpetual goal of being the best mother you can be. Thanks for reading.