Spring Cleaning

Tonight I went back to yoga class for the first time in three months or so, the laptop is open to something other than Word, and there's something just a bit footloose and fancy free in the air here at Parkview House. Another semester is over. Nine more credits down. I find myself in what feels like a vacuum between what was easily the most challenging end of semester to date, and my upcoming May term. One relatively unscheduled week has arrived in my calendar and it feels positively luxurious. Last night, I browsed on Ebay for hours like a crazy yard sale addict sneaking a fix. The night before that, I put away winter clothes and pulled out the baby's 18 month bin, (where, to my surprise was my Super Mom cape and tiara I though I'd lost.) Tonight, I'm blogging. Tomorrow, I'm planning to put all of 2011's photos into a giant photo book online. For months, projects have been rattling around in my brain and sitting on detailed to-do lists.  I'm a list maker- somehow, in my brain, if it's written down, it's halfway done. Let's just say, there's been a lot of unfulfilled lists in my recycling bin lately. But this week, the evening hours are again my own, and I'm getting shit done. I feel like Rosie the Riveter.

This past month was somewhat less pretty though. I had a come-to-Jesus moment about the state of my home. It was messy. Messy and dirty too. Grimy windows, smeary walls, cobwebby corners, dusty ceiling fans, cat hair on the curtains, new civilizations rising to power behind the oven- you get the picture. Spring cleaning was looming. Usually, this ritual, accompanied by a donation purge and comprehensive storage re-org is one that gives me great gratification. This year I felt like David with out a sling shot and my Goliath filth and clutter was about to eat me whole. After a few weeks of stewing, scheming, and feeling generally inadequate (where did I leave that damn cape?) I ran to the back yard and shook the money tree and had the whole house cleaned top to bottom- windows, walls, trim, oven, fridge, floors, kitchen cupboards and bathrooms. (If you've never tried this.....) The way I felt each Thursday when I got home was worth double what I paid. The house looked so lovely, and I no longer bared the responsibility of making it that way. What a weight lifted. (Seriously, if you've never tried it...) It was difficult for me to accept that I was just too busy to tackle a project like spring cleaning this year. I could've put it off until I had more time, but the mess was bothering me. Mom's blog all the time about how we should empower and support one another rather than make comparisons and criticize, and we all know it's true. So, here's my message of empowerment to all mother's- at least once, hire a damn cleaning lady. (If it happens to also be your mother, still pay her.)

Next week, the May term begins and I'll be taking a math class every day for three hours for three weeks. Yes, I am a glutton for punishment. Life at Parkview house will be back to crazy for a little while longer as we attempt to balance everyone's needs. It's likely I'll be compulsively writing to-do lists, and feeling as though each day I must simply put out the biggest fire in order to move on to the next. What I've learned though, is that it is okay to compromise. (Cue philosophical insight...) We make choices about where our energy goes each day, and how we fill the hours we have. When energy and hours are exhausted, well, things get left out. There just isn't any choice. I'll make peace with that to-do list. Super Mom status will not be threatened by putting off painting the kitchen cupboards and re-seeding the back yard for a few weeks. I'm going to plan ahead and cook meals as best I can, but, I'm also going to buy a ton of convenience food. I'll get the vacuuming done, but, I'm also going to keep paying for housecleaning. Everyone reading this may not be a working, student, mom, but I'll assume everyone does have their own personal version of my spring cleaning/ identity crisis story. I've figured out that letting go, is sometimes more graceful than trying to do everything, and that I can still wear my cape- even in sneakers while eating frozen pizza.

Thanks for reading.